A List of Things I should be proud of:

 

  • I graduated high school a year early with a 3.8 GPA
  • I have never been fired
  • I make an excellent macchiato¬†(caramel and hazelnut both)
  • I am a gifted writer
  • I am strong
  • I am not afraid to dream
  • I have had my heart-broken in the past; but by the Grace of God, I have been able to fall in love with a wonderful, kind, smart, loving, loyal man who loves me for who I am.
  • I am proud to call myself a follower of Christ
  • I feel things deeply
  • I am always honest
  • I am compassionate
  • I do not and will not let my disease define who I am.
  • I believe everything happens for a reason
  • In 2013 I was able to pay off a sizable part of the debts I owe
  • I am funny
  • I am intelligent
  • I am learning that it is okay and brave to be open and vulnerable
  • I try not to judge people
  • I want to always speak kindness
  • I have forgiven those who have hurt me in the past
  • My Boyfriend
  • My Mom
  • My Dad
  • My siblings
  • I am a barista at a good company
  • I grew up as a Washingtonian – transplanted from California at age 2
  • I have a small Dr. Who obsession
  • I see God’s fingerprints everywhere
  • I went to bible college
  • I am a hard worker
  • I go after what I want
  • I am good listener
  • I want to encourage other women – that our identity is found in Christ… And that we are so much more valuable than we give ourselves credit for.
  • I can stretch a penny

 

 

This list was surprisingly hard for me to write – I didn’t want to come off showy – or prideful… But it is okay to take pride in who I am as a person; in the things I have learned, and am learning still…

 

In need of a paper bag, please…

Last night I had a mini break down for an hour and half or so. And it was over the stupidest thing…

I suppose I was crying about a lot of things – but a lot of it had to do with the realization that I will never be able to get drunk. I can drink, don’t get me wrong – but I can only have 1 drink, and it has to be with a meal… And I have to take enough insulin before hand too.

It really isn’t that big of a deal, honestly; I’ve never been that big of a drinker, and I’m a light weight to boot. But last night the enormity of everything just finally caught up with me, I think… ¬†I just saw this whole piece of my life that every other 21 year old is able to indulge in, just being sliced off of my life – an experience I will never get to have.

Like I said, as I type this I feel a little silly even posting this. But this is how I felt. This is the truth.

 

I am still adjusting to this new way of life…