All about Provision, Dead Volvos, and Receiving Blessings

Today is February 25th, in the year of 2014… And I have not written in a very LONG time. I hate not writing; feeling like I am not using the talents that my God has blessed me with… But I digress!!!! 🙂

 

In the last week, I bought a new car from a friend for a lot less than listing price, upon the day of making my last payment; my old car broke down in the middle of a busy intersection – where a very kind police man had to push me across the street where I gracefully jerked the newly dead Volvo to a stop… In the midst of all this I was praying “Please God, NOT TODAY!”, crying (because I had never had this sort of thing happen to me before, and I was embarrassed beyond belief and angry that this stupid piece of machinery had the gall to die on me in the middle of traffic! On my way to work no less!).

But while I was angry, and walking the rest of the way to my place of employment – grumbling, and attempting to pull myself together even though I had streaks of black eyeliner and mascara running down my cheeks… God had me in the palm of His hand.

That day a dear friend of my family’s came to my rescue; bought oil, and coolant for the smoking Volvo (which my boss had offered to help fix, and helped me get it into my work’s parking lot), and proceeded to work on it…  God knew that these people had those talents. God knew that I needed to break down in that particular intersection – instead of on a dark, lonely back road to nowheresville.

God knew these things – and He provided for them. He protected me.

All I needed to do was receive the blessings that He had for me in that situation – to humble myself before my Father in Heaven and say thank you, and allow the people He put in the right places at the right time, to work their talents that He had given them…

 

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The ‘I’ in Life.

 

 

Some days I look at my behavior – and I shock myself.

I can’t believe I just said this, or did that. Especially when my actions or words are directed toward someone I dearly love…

Even some stranger who had the nerve to cut me off in traffic; or ride my bumper down the highway when the speed limit clearly says ’60 mph’ – and they are pushing me to go 70, 75, 80 mph – but, no big deal! Speed limits are only mild suggestions! Right………..!?

These instances that everyone goes through every day are the perfect example of being SELF-centered. Being Human.

Now, don’t get me wrong – it’s good to be centered…  But what are we centered on??? Are we centered on Jesus – or are we centered on SELF?

On Sunday morning, at the small Baptist church the boyfriend and I have attended lately, I felt like the pastor was speaking directly to me at different points in the sermon.

He didn’t need to look in my direction – but I felt the heaviness of conviction building on my heart all the same.

The pastor said: “Self is the original four letter word.”   I felt like the phrase hit me between the eyes… How many times a day am I only concerned about that ‘I’ in the word Life?  I’m ashamed to think that so many of my thoughts are centered on how events effect ME; how does this make ME feel; why is this happening to ME? Me, me, me, me, me.

It is an issue/boulder in my heart that I am praying desperately that the Holy Spirit will just keep chiseling away at.

To say the least, this issue of being SELF-centered is a great reminder that all of us are just one big construction site – that will never be completed until we see Him face to face. No one is perfect.

Just some stuff that was perculating in my brain as I try to center myself on Jesus – and put His Kingdom first in my life always.

I hope my thoughts make sense. If not I am gonna blame the Blood Sugar… 😉